Crocodile

I watched a jungle cat

attack a crocodile

on the internet

and thought about how

cushy my couch was

and how much

I like folk music

and how I don’t want to be

protected from everything

so I watched all 44 seconds

with my eyes open

and contemplated

how protected I am

from everything

a storm blew through two nights ago

from the bathroom

I heard a great roar

all the windows were open

and it was different

from the roar the train makes

it was like air pushed through a straw

by a leaf blower

and it grew

into a wild crescendo

and rain

from nowhere

threw itself at the ground

in a violent

symbolic act

of self-sacrifice

and I stood in my doorway

and I peered casually outside

and knew that nature would kill me

one day

but knew deeper

that it would kill some of my friends first

no one wants to write that

or admit it to themselves

I remember driving to school

in seventh grade

and playing Eleanor Rigby

on my iPod Video

and wondering if life would be that sad

and now I think it is

and it isn’t

some days you’re the jungle cat

some days you’re the crocodile

some days you’re John

some days you’re reading Salinger

and contemplating homicide

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